101 Things to do With a Crochet Hook
by Goddess Heather
Summary: The first installment of the series Knitting Pretty.


Title: 101 Things to do With a Crochet Hook  
  
Subtitled: How to Kill a Demon on the First Date  
  
Series name: Knitting Pretty  
  
Sub-seriesed(is that a word? Shruggs Oh well is now.): The Knit Wit Stories  
  
"What the hell am I suppose to do stay home and knit?"  
  
"Hand-made gifts always come from the heart." Buffy replied.  
  
Hand-made gifts yeah bloody right, like he the Big Bad, half the Scourge of Europe was going to knit a sweater for the bleedin' Slayer. I don't have it that bad. Yes you do. Right now your thinking about what color to get and you know it. Bloody 'ell.  
  
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I've spent two weeks trying to knit this stupid sweater and all I have to show for it is a knot of yarn that isn't even reusable. What I need is someone that knows how to knit to show me. How do you find a knitting teacher though?  
  
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Xander glanced briefly at the bulletin board by the door to the grocery store. One ad in particular caught his eye: Looking for knitting teacher, will pay, call 555-7777 or go to 1890 Philistine rd. That's right near my place, Xander thought. It'll be a quick way to earn a few extra bucks at least.  
  
7777777777777  
  
Ding Done "Who is it?" Spike called out. He had just gotten up and was not quite awake yet.  
  
"I'm here to answer the ad for a teacher." Uh, that voice was very familiar and it was male which wasn't what he expected. Little did Spike know that the person on the other side of the door was thinking pretty much the exact same thing.  
  
Spike opened the door to reveal none other than the whelp himself. "What in the bleeding 'ell are you doing here?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing, Biteless Wonder," replied Xander. "I came about an kni-ad" Xander hastily amended his statement incase Spike didn't know why he was here.  
  
"You know how to knit?" Spike asked before he could realize this meant that he was the one that took out the ad.  
  
"So Spike why the sudden urge to knit?"  
  
"Buffy," Spike mumbled.  
  
"What was that?" Xander asked with a smile, this was fun, embarrassing Spike.  
  
"Buffy alright, she said self-made gifts come from the heart, and I thought that she might think I actually meant it if I-"  
  
While Xander was having fun embarrassing Spike, he knew what unrequited love was like and felt no urge to laugh. "Spike, I'll teach you how to knit if ya promise not to let the rest of the Scoobies know I know how to knit., deal? Oh and you pay, cause the ad said you would."  
  
"So let's go ahead and get started. I want to start you out on something simple like a blanket."  
  
"I just want to know how to make Buffy a bleedin' sweater."  
  
"It doesn't work like that Bleach Boy, knitting is progressive, you can't go from not knowing the difference between a crochet hook and a knitting needle to making quality sweaters. Do you have any patterns, any idea of what the end result of your efforts should be?"  
  
"Not really, just wanted something to please Buffy." He winced when he heard those words come out of his mouth, he wasn't that pathetic was he?  
  
"Okay, we'll worry about it later, right now I'll just show you some basics like size of yarn and needle." Xander walked over to sit on the sofa and Spike couldn't help but notice how great Xander looked in those jeans, they weren't his usual baggy ones and they hugged his butt perfectly. No bloody why I was checking the whelp's butt out. Xander oblivious to the attention of the fake blonde started to pull out various needles.  
  
He started to show them to Spike, crochet hooks, needles American sizes verses European and different types of yarn. A whole hour had pasted and they hadn't even cast on yet. "Wh-Xander," Xander was bothering to teach him how to knit, he might as well show a little respect, "where did you learn all this?"  
  
"My grandmother taught me. I used to stay with her a lot before she died, she was one of the few people I've had to love me." Xander was surprised that he had told Spike this, he hardly ever talked about his family and how bad they were. He realized that when he wasn't looking he had come to trust the vampire. He stared at Spike, suddenly noticing how beautiful he looked with half his face bathing in cool moonlight and the other in the warm light of the overhead.  
  
The shadows were so deep and those lips looked so kissable, in fact he was leaning in to Spike just as Spike was leaning into him when- CRASH!!!! Something came hurtling through the window. The demon was green and scaly with a purple tint and lavender eyes that glowed. Spike jumped up and squared off, growling at the creature before him and vamped out. The demon didn't seem to notice and just tossed Spike right into, actually more like through his living room wall and into his bedroom.  
  
The demon approached Xander and he glanced around frantically, would Spike have some weapons lying around some where? He grabbed a wooden crochet hook and darted forward taking the offensive, he inserted the hook through the edge of the eye, one of the few weak places on the armored demon's body and after shoving it sufficiently far enough back pulled it out bringing brain matter and leaving the intact eye ball hanging from the socket. The demon howled and fell screeching to the floor. Where it slowly died.  
  
Spike came out of the bedroom, covered in dust and looking haggard, and Xander had to admit still looking edible. "So Spike same time tomorrow?" Xander asked. Spike could only nod. "Cool see 'ya then, I expect you to have picked out your yarn by then," and with that Xander was out the door. 


End file.
